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Songs Of Praise Overrun May See Tyrone/Donegal Game Deferred Again On Sunday

Following the deferment of the deferred Tyrone/Cavan game last Sunday due to an enthralling men’s doubles game at Wimbledon, there are fears within the county that this weekend’s game may be deferred if Songs of Praise overruns due to people singing slowly or maybe banging out more songs than they normally would.

Last week, many in both Tyrone and Cavan only found out who won at midnight when the programme ended, with some viewers falling asleep and only finding out on the radio the next morning.

One viewer warned:

“I’ll be watching Songs of Praise closely. If I see them singing The Lord Is My Shepherd at half the pace I’ll be emailing Points of View in live time. They’re only singing slowly because they hate the GAA. Or Tyrone. How Great Thou Art is seven verses long. No way should that be sung.”

Meanwhile, several viewers have since taken up doubles tennis after last week’s delayed scheduling. Two couples were caught playing tennis at Augher GAA pitch during the week, but were soon chased to Filemiletown.

Beragh Set To Build New Village Hall And Leisure Centre If Uruguay Win Euros

Beragh school children get ready for the Euros

Beragh school children get ready for the Euros

The tiny village of Beragh is set to become the envy of the county if an adventurous gamble comes off during the current European Championships in France. 

After days of intense analysis by sporting experts in the local watering establishment, it was decided that Uruguay was the most likely outsider to win the tournament. Every family agreed to donate £10 each to the kitty which, if successful, will see the village a cool £3.5 million richer due to the generous odds laid on by local bookmaker Westwoods.  The winnings, if successful, will see work begin on a multi-million pound leisure centre with an Olympic-length swimming pool and a tennis court capable of holding one of the world majors.

Kitty treasurer Kitty Grimes told us:

“If the boys are correct about this, we’ll be the richest village in Ireland, if not the world. The jealously will be dripping off the Omagh ones. We’ll make sure every penny is accounted for and if there’s any left over we’ll have a fun day or something like that.  Well done to the lads in the pub. I’m quietly confident they’ll come up smelling of roses. And a big thank you to Westwood bookmakers who laid on generous odds of 10’000-1 even though he stands to lose a fortune.”

The village has already been kitted out in Uruguay colours, much to the delight of soccer expert and chief debater John McCaughey:

“Ah it’s great to see the flags all around. They’ve really got behind our decision. It was a heated debate and strong arguments were made for France, Spain, Mexico and even England but we all agreed eventually that Uruguay was the most likely underdog to win it. That Luis Suarez lad is lethal.”

Although unsure when Uruguay’s first game is, McCaughey maintains it’ll be one hell of a party to begin a month of celebrations before the expected financial windfall.

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