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Woman Furious Over Facebook App Faults Whilst On Holiday

9-mw-630-woman-screaming-phone-upset-yell-istock-630wA Dungannon woman is suing Facebook after her holiday was ruined because its app was not working right in Portugal on her phone.

The White City mother, who spent 10 days in the Algarve, maintains she wasn’t able to upload photos for two whole days and more importantly was unable to comment on others’ posts for the whole vacation.

Cathy Mullan added:

“Listen, everyone knows Facebook is the new novel. Years ago you’d have seen holidayers reading books on their loungers. Now we all know snooping on Facebook has replaced that so don’t judge me, ok? I wasn’t able to give my comments on Turkey, Nice or the picture of a baby doing the Rocky moves. It was killing me. People must think I don’t care.”

Worse still, Mullan was unable to upload picture of her dinners, legs at the beach and children for TWO WHOLE DAYS due to a data issue on her phone’s service provider. The mother of two has promised to take Zuckerberg the whole way:

“Facebook are a joke. It ruined our holiday because my moods were all over the joint. I had a brilliant pic of my legs on a lounger but it wouldn’t upload. Then I’d a photo of young eldest one eating a mussel and the same result. How the hell am I meant to let people know how good a time I think I’m having? And I’d deadly things to say about Turkey too. Zuckerberg, you’re toast.”

Mullan admitted she was able to upload a picture on the last day of her husband playing crazy golf with a red head on him and a pair of long shorts but revealed it was ‘too little too late’.

First Reported Case Of Facebook In Loughmacrory Confirmed

Zuckerberg cracks Loughmacrory

Zuckerberg cracks Loughmacrory

Mild panic was said to be enveloping Loughmacrory this morning as the clergy confirmed that one parishioner admitted he’d opened a Facebook account just within the last month. Up until now the ‘Lough and Tattyreagh were the only townlands in Tyrone not to succumb to the social networking phenomenon yet it looks like Tattyreagh will hold that honour alone today. The identity of the user will remain anonymous for now but Fr O’Brien sounded a stark warning to the locals:

“I’ve called a special prayer meeting tonight to offer up to Himself a request for guidance and reassurance after the news I was told at confessions yesterday. I nearly put my fist right through the confessional mesh when he told me. OK, fair enough about coming clean and all but we’d put some effort into preaching against Zuckerberg and his evil business. I was convinced we’d frightened the entire Loughmacrory community into shunning the networking site with predictions of blazing fires in hell and eternal hard labour. That’s that bucked now. It’s only a matter of time before everyone is writing on each others’ walls and a whole poking session begins. The natural conclusion is a real heathen attitude that you’d see in Eskra or Cranagh with public fornication, tax obedience, racial violence, picking on gingers, cows unmilked, unwaxed women and so on the norm around these parts. This is a disastrous development. I could choke young Dorman. This is just the beginning. There’ll be all kinds of weirdoes and perverts calling here now.”

When asked about the publicising of individual confessions, Fr O’Brien just laughed and said something about them not having anything to talk about in the parish house if they kept that stuff quiet. Meanwhile, Zuckerberg is said to be ‘ecstatic beyond belief’ at having cracked the Loughmacrory market. They aim to annex Tattyreagh by the end of the year using strong-arm tactics.

paul g moss

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