Aughnacloy Building Firm Admit To Using Frozen Trifle Instead Of Bricks

The future?

The future?

Gildernew’s Building Supplies have admitted that they attempted to cut 
costs by using frozen trifle and jelly to build a new estate out the 
Monaghan Road last year. Suspicions were raised when house-owner Kieran
 Copney noticed his children licking the walls more often than what would
 be usual in South Tyrone. After further investigation, the Copneys 
discovered other shortcuts had been made in a desperate attempt by
 Gildernew’s men to save money during these times of austerity.



”Holy God. Bricks made of trifle. Have you ever heard of that before?
 Only in Aughnacloy. To give them their credit they seem to have made a
 quare job of freezing it permanently and soothing out any wobbliness. 
And in the summer time there was a gentle whiff of whipped cream and custard 
which disguised any natural wind breakage from the wife and children.
 But, they could have told us like. The cement seems to be made from porridge and 
Ready Brek too.”



Building Control have made further investigations into the affair and
 released some startling discoveries:



”After a thorough investigation, it appears that some of the rafters in 
the attics were made from solid French loaves, filled with some kind of
 polyfill. Many of the windows were plastic with cling-film over it to
 give off a sparkly kind of look. It was some job.”



Gildernew’s issued a statement today defending their choice of building 
materials, even going on the offensive regarding other dubious 
practices from rival firms.



”If those children hadn’t started licking all the walls, familes on the 
Monaghan Road would’ve lived in domestic bliss without knowing the
 truth. Now they’re expecting an interior wall to start wobbling at any moment. It’s all psychological. This 
sort of practice has been going on for years. I know of a B&Q out near Omagh that sold
 sheds made out of out-of-date tortillas. There’s a housing estate in Coalisland made from liquorice.”

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on April 19, 2013, in Aughnacloy, Coalisland, Omagh and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

Anroworld

The only thing better than curling up with a good book to read is sitting down at the computer with a good story to film!

SteveInVancouver

Just another WordPress.com site

That Football Analysis

A New Way of Discussing the Beautiful Game

Le Blog BlookUp

Imprimez et transformez vos contenus digitaux, blogs et réseaux sociaux, en magnifiques livres papier sur blookup.com

Brenners Mc Goo Blogger

Passionate about travel, adventures and exploration. Lover of the natural world... obsessed with natural cosmetics, growing your own and yoga!

%d bloggers like this: