Moy Man Spotted Clapping And Smiling At Armagh Game. Public Punishment Considered.
Photographic and video footage has finally confirmed rumours that a high profile Moy man, locally named as ‘Mac’, was seen openly smiling and even clapping as Armagh struck eight goals past Leitrim last weekend. The man’s best friend has moved quickly to defend the once-popular clubman by explaining to journalists gathered outside Tomney’s that he was only putting it on to impress a woman from Armagh he’d been chasing for a while. Locals, however, are refusing to accept this theory. Tom Donaghy (67) said:
“Listen, if God himself said he was an Armagh man I still wouldn’t be smiling and clapping when they scored. I’d rather be savaged by a pack of ravenous hounds. I’ve had my suspicions about this fellow for years now. He has a history of straddling the Blackwater. This man needs to be tied to a tree in the middle of the village with a sign hanging around his neck saying “Up Armagh”. Unfortunately he might like that though.”
The man’s family are refusing to comment though an unnamed cousin claimed he’s not surprised:
“Ah he’s an old romantic. One time he was going with a French girl and he started wearing stripy jumpers and berets. It didn’t make him any less a Tyrone man. Smiling at an Armagh goal might be hard for some to swallow but there’s worse things out there. However, if he did clap I cannot defend him. I would disown the fella too. A flogging might be justified here. See if he goes to Galway this weekend….”
The Moy GAA committee have called an extraordinary meeting to decide on how they will deal with the whole debacle. Video footage is being closely studied with lip-readers expected to confirm whether he said “deadly stuff” after the 6th goal. ‘Mac’ is expected to claim an unreasonable hatred of Leitrim in his defence.