Conway

Kildress Independent Movement’s Paddy Conway has been ordered to re-think his campaign slogan after parents complained of children copying the language used on his local election posters.

The motto in question – “Vote Conway. Sure The Rest Of Them Are Slippery Fcukers Anyway” – has been displayed on telephone poles and lamp posts since last Tuesday as Conway stands for the first time for his new Kildress Independence Movement which seeks to see Kildress stand alone as a separate county in Ulster in two years.

Local primary school teacher Grace McMinn maintains young children are mimicking the unfortunately choice of words:

“Yes, just yesterday I was teaching the children about World War II and at the end I asked the class what they knew about Adolf Hitler. A young lad from up the road put his hand up and said he was a ‘slippery fcuker’. Then I was out supervising the children at lunch time and I heard hundreds of ‘slippery fcukers’ being yelled out, even girls playing hop scotch. Conway must take these posters down now.”

Paddy Conway (48) who pledges to free Kildress by 2016 from the Tyrone jurisdiction, is adamant the posters will remain:

“Listen I tell it how it is. I’ll even go into these schools and repeat my message. Everyone knows they are a shower of slippery fcukers. Believe me, I could have said worse. Up Kildress.”

Conway went on to spell out his vision for the area:

“By 2016 we’ll be County Kildress with our own currency which might or might not be bramble bushes or blackberries. We’ll have zero tolerance for asylum seekers from Galbally or Greencastle and our army will be renowned for one of the most brutal in Europe, kicking the dung out of anyone littering or parking erratically. Up Kildress.”

Sinn Fein’s Barry McElduff has denied he has responded by changing his slogan to ‘Vote For Me, Or Else…..”