“I Can’t Believe I Was So Stupid” Says Recently Married Groom

dentures1An Omagh barman is considering filing for divorce one week after ‘the happiest day of his life‘ and has urged all men not to make the same mistakes he did during his courtship phase.

Kevin Donnellan (55), who married his partner after 18 months of romancing, arrived home from work on his first day back at Hoody’s Pub only to find his new bride on her second bottle of vodka with her false teeth sitting on the table beside her, singing sorrowful songs about emigration to America.

“Not only did I not know she drank, I wasn’t aware she didn’t have her own teeth. None of them. But she’s a deadly singer.”

Donnellan revealed it took more than 15 minutes for confirmation that the woman swaying on his settee was the woman he’d married a week ago.

“I noticed a scar she has on her shoulder from when she was bitten there by a mink when fishing near Drumragh in the 70s. I can’t believe I didn’t know she had false teeth. To be fair, I wouldn’t be deadly into the kissing but looking back now I remember hearing a constant clacking sound every time we were at the matinee in the cinema.”

The genial barman also believed his wife was a tee-totaler but also admits he rarely saw his wife-to-be after 6pm since they started courting:

“She told me she’d be deadly tired at 5pm so I’d leave her home and pick her up the next day around 1pm and right enough she always had dark sunglasses on her. I urge all lads to spend a few days with their wives before taking the plunge. You need to have a good look at her first thing in the morning.”

Donnellan has yet to decide whether or not to give up on the marriage at this early stage, adding that she still looked rightly with her teeth out for a 53 year old and if he could get her onto the whiskey it could be something they could share whilst singing about old rebellions and risings.

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on December 17, 2014, in Drumragh, Omagh and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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