Shamed Omagh Man Admits To Opening Easter Egg On Good Friday At 3:01pm

One Omagh lad, today

One Omagh lad, today

A 41-year old Omagh teacher admitted to opening a Yorkie Easter Egg after his wife caught him stuffing something down the side of the sofa and suspiciously chewing  slowly, with chocolate marks down the side of his face.

The RE teacher, who had given up chocolate at the start of Lent apart from a lapse on St Patrick’s Day when he devoured a 6-pack of Freddos during a parade, revealed he never felt so guilty and has vowed to go the whole of tomorrow without any food passing his lips as penance:

Decky Monteith explained:

“It was an honest mistake. I thought Lent ended at 3pm on Good Friday, after a three hour deliberation in silence from midday. It wasn’t until I heard the wife shouting ‘where’d that egg go?’ in the kitchen that the horrible truth dawned on me. And I ruined the rest of it by stuffing the remainder down the sofa. It’s just a horrible mess, literally and metaphorically.”

Meanwhile, 40 parents have already contacted Monteith’s school in Omagh complaining that their children also attempted to gorge on Easter eggs after 3pm after they were told by the teacher all week it was OK to do so.

Mary McCabe, a mother of 5, described the scene in her kitchen:

“I popped into the shower around three for the bingo tonight and came down to utter carnage. Every egg was opened and the children were running around hyper with chocolate all over the walls. That bollocks Monteith has some explaining to do, and him an RE teacher.”

The Vatican have reminded people that tomorrow is also part of Lent and that anyone caught indulging in nice stuff will be frowned upon from above.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on April 3, 2015, in Omagh and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Minimal Belle

Simple, elegant and intentional living on a budget.

Blog about Mexico's Must Have Seen

Playa del Carmen, Tulum, Cancun, Riviera Maya, Cenotes, Sian Ka'an, Cozumel, Bacalar, Mahahual, Monterrey...

Blogger, interrupted...

“since our apparitions, the part of us which appears, are so momentary compared with the other, the unseen part of us, which spreads wide, the unseen might survive, be recovered somehow attached to this person or that, or even haunting certain places, after death. Perhaps - perhaps.”

Simplify Your English Blog

Put Your Thoughts into Words Better

Anroworld

The only thing better than curling up with a good book to read is sitting down at the computer with a good story to write

SteveInVancouver

Just another WordPress.com site

That Football Analysis

A New Way of Discussing the Beautiful Game

Le Blog BlookUp

Imprimez et transformez vos contenus digitaux, blogs et réseaux sociaux, en magnifiques livres papier !

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Brenners Mc Goo Blogger

Passionate about travel, adventures and exploration. Lover of the natural world... obsessed with natural cosmetics, growing your own and yoga!

Me Otherwise

Life,Books & Travel

Revers Osmosis Water Purification

Advance Water Treatment and purification systems

Junior Chills

Writing original songs...enticing you to come along

Dave Kavanagh.

Clinging to the sides

yearning curve

agitpop resistance songs

My new life: Bulgaria

After hooking up with a Bearded man and realising it was inevitable that I moved out here to Bulgaria, here is the story so far in pictures.

Uldis blog

The only way to get love is to be lovable. It's very irritating if you have a lot of money. You'd like to think you could write a check: 'I'll buy a million dollars' worth of love.' But it doesn't work that way. The more you give love away, the more you get. - Warren Buffet

%d bloggers like this: