£36

The Benburb Joiners and Plumbers Society have been hailed as ‘saints’ after they raised £36 from a wet sponge game and donated £30 of it to Greece, strengthening their ancient ties with their sister city, Athens.

Greek treasurer and former Benburb Pipe Band member Pathos Havalavaho admitted the £30 was a ‘quare lift’ for his nation but questioned the retention of the £6 by the Benburb Joiners and Plumbers Society for administrative costs including expenses such as sponges and bucket.

“We are very grateful for the £30 but questions have to be asked about the remaining £6. Surely the sponges could have been donated and buckets aren’t exactly scare. This reeks of corruption but I still welcome the £30. It has given us a quare lift.”

Benburb, which was twinned with Athens in 1954 in what appears to be a spelling error when Beirut were firm favourites at the time to pair up with the Greek capital, have promised to hold future events to help ‘those less fortunate than us in Benburb’.

Moy entrepreneur and triangle maker Johnny Padden doubted whether Benburb charity people would honour that promise.

“On hundreds of occasions we’ve asked our neighbours in Benburb to raise money for the upkeep of our lovely flower beds in the village centre but they haven’t given us a bean. Yet, they’re flirting with the Greeks now. And another thing, Greece will never see that £6 as yer man Jordan who runs that charity in Benburb was steaming full earlier in Tomney’s. Crook.”

Meanwhile, Benburb Sunday passed off peacefully last weekend with only one man caught urinating.