Artist’s impression

Unsubstantiated rumours that Michelle Gildernew’s successful run on ITV’s Ninja Warrior UK game show may have compromised her upcoming assembly election campaign have been labelled as ‘rubbish’ and ‘hardly, like’ by viewers of the show and most other people.

Gildernew, the much-respected and experienced former MP for Fermanagh and South Tyrone, has reportedly powered her way to the final of the show by obliterating the ‘quintuple steps’ and smashing the ‘warped wall’ in record times over the course of the series.

An Ninja Warrior UK insider revealed:

“She’s deadly. Her ‘Log Grip’ technique suggests a woman who has spent a lot of her youth out in the open, jumping over ravines and cutting trees. After ripping through the course, she’d purposely go for a dip in the icy cold water-traps, suggesting a woman not adverse to a bit of midnight skinny-dipping around Brantry Lough.”

However, avid viewers of the show refused to accept that the popular Gildernew had progressed to the final despite not being shown as a competitor over previous televised heats. Ninja Warrior fanatic Kieran Delaney from the Moy fumed:

“I don’t know where this rumour started. I’ve watched every episode, sometimes twice, and never once have they referred to a Sinn Fein politician participating, never mind winning three heats. I know Gildernew and she’s a great woman and I’ve no doubt she’d rip that course up if she tried but as far as I’m concerned she hasn’t participated in this series. Definitely not.”

Sinn Fein’s Ard Chomhairle are due to look over footage of the show before deciding whether or not to overturn the Fermanagh/South Tyrone selection committee result.

Meanwhile, Gildernew has decided not to defended her 50m sprint title at this year’s Aghaloo GFC Sports Day Over 40s Women’s Race.