Mortified Tyrone Priest Receives Boxes Of Condoms From Late Late Show

2Late-Late-Audience-11th-Dec.-2015-600A County Tyrone priest, who won two tickets to be in the audience in The Late Late Show at the Parish Christmas Bazaar, is said to be in hiding after arriving back with 16 boxes of condoms which were given to everyone in the audience by Ryan Tubridy. Fr McCaughey’s maid, who was made to carry the gift into the priest’s car and house, was also said to be ‘beetroot’ over the incident according to neighbours in Tattyreagh.

The Valentine’s Day special episode of the popular RTE show also awarded boxes of chocolates to everyone in the audience, heightening the awkwardness of the situation for the Omagh-born clergyman, who elected to bring his long-serving maid Mary Quinn to the show as his partner.

Fellow spectator and bachelor Kieran Kelly from County Meath confirmed it was a show from hell for the man of the cloth:

“I was sitting beside Fr McCaughey when Tubridy announced it was a Valentine’s special. He muttered something like ‘Ah bollocks’ and tried to leave but they wouldn’t let him budge. I saw him fiddle with the collar a few times but it seemed to be stuck too. It was an unfortunate scenario for the man and the maid, Mary.”

On leaving the studio, all members of the audience were given their chocolates and contraceptives, with the Tattyreagh parish priest attempting to escape the ordeal. Unfortunately, accepting the gifts is compulsory and the pair had to walk a mile to their car holding boxes of Milk Tray and Durex, much to the dismay of elderly Dubliners out walking.

After receiving a torrent of abuse from disgusted onlookers, according to eye witness reports Fr McCaughey tried to explain how to got them but was drowned out by cries of ‘dirty bastard’ and ‘go on yis pair of hoors’.

Tattyreagh Parish confirmed today that the Durex boxes will be donated to any Protestants in the greater Omagh area if they want them.

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on February 13, 2016, in Omagh, Tattyreagh and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Unfortunately, the boxes of Durex turned out to be filled with balloons. Ms. Quinn has kept her position as Fr. McCaughey’s maid for quite some time due to her resourcefulness.

    Liked by 1 person

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