People travelling through Aughnacloy from Derry to Dublin to get the plane to America were today said to be extremely ecstatic at the news that work will start early next year on the first stage of a new A5 dual carriageway .

The big road, which should begin construction over 10 years after it was first agreed to proceed with the plan, will be made of tarmac and should shave an hour off the journey to the capital.

It has already emerged that the first tea break will last over 3 hours as the expected forecast for Derry in February 2018 is heavy rain with a touch of sleet.

Local Ballygawley road-building expert Sammy McGinn admitted he was annoyed at the prospect of not working on the carriageway:

“They reckon it’ll cost over a billion pounds to build the thing. I could have done it for a 5-figure sum over the space of 2 weekends. Sure they’ve already spent £70m on it and not a finger lifted. That’s some tea-break.”

Despite McGinn’s reservations, a spate of flights have already been booked to America by residents of Omagh and Strabane even though it’ll probably not be finished till 2020.

A travel agent in Strabane has taken out an inaccurate ad, boasting ‘get til America in an hour less than ones from Belfast going to Dublin’. A 15-people queue had formed outside the shop by 10am this morning.