Pebbles, earlier

A retired Ardboe pensioner is facing up to 10 years in Maghaberry after he admitted to training his collie Pebbles to bark ‘f**k Derry’ on command when being visited by relatives from the Derry side of Ballinderry.

Gerry ‘Queen’ Quinn, who was previously cautioned for teaching his pet budgerigar to sing Wolfe Tones songs during a 12th July parade in Coagh, revealed he trained the dog to utter obscenities aimed at the Oak Leaf county over a period of four years, treating Pebbles to cheeseburgers and chips after tasks were accomplished.

Judge Peter Campbell added:

“This was a systematic pattern of training pets to do his dirty work. We have it on good authority that he had three cats undergoing similar training, targeting a wide range of government officials using verbal and physical tactics. He is like a Dark Dr Doolittle, doing a lot of damage.”

Quinn has decided not to appeal the decision when it is handed down, claiming it was worth it “to see the look on them tramps’ faces”.

Pebbles has been handed over to the RSPCA to be retrained to bark more normal local things like ‘ghost oh it’s tarra’ and ‘are ye blind, ref?’.