After three years of rigorous testing and research, boffins at NASA have revealed that they are to run the crucial final tests of their new Mars Rover around the roads in Derrylaughan. 

The east Tyrone townland was chosen over other areas such as the Alps and a volcano in Tonga due to the atrocious state of the roads in the area over the last three years which perfectly mimic the mountainous terrain of the Red Planet.

The NI Tourism board have urged loughshore residents to cash in on the visitors from Washington by opening their illegal spare rooms and floors as B&Bs as well as offering local delights such as pollans and home-brew liquor.

Mars Rover director Hank Power revealed that Derrylaughan was always high on their radar:

“This Derrylaughan is like a celestial body in its own right. I believe that the roads are so treacherous that the government are currently considering phasing out automobiles in the area altogether and replacing them with donkeys. It’s perfect for our Rover.”

The NI Roads Service have been quick to claim credit for the decision, citing it was their intention all along to win Derrylaughan the Mars contract by being terrible at fixing the roads in the first place.

Locals remain unconvinced.