A number of Armagh officials disguised in a variety of ways have been caught spying on Tyrone training this week in the run up to their much-anticipated clash in the McKenna Cup final this Saturday. 

Suspicions were raised on Tuesday night when a fish and chip van pulled up outside one of the training pitches up in Garvaghey intending to sell fast food to the players and management as soon as they finished training. Although it was perceived as odd at the time, suspicions were only confirmed when assistant manager Gavin ‘Horse’ Devlin order a pastie bap, only to be told there was just one Wispa and a tin of Irn Bru on sale by a man in a thick Silverbridge accent. He was asked to leave.

On Wednesday, three Armagh officials were caught pretending to fix the boiler in the weights room during the Tyrone strength and conditioning night. Alarms were raised after half an hour when a Tyrone backroom team member mentioned there were no boilers in the building. All three were chased with a broom by Peter Donnelly. They apparently headed the direction of Maghery.

Finally, a man eating apples turned up for Tyrone training today insisting he was Sean Cavanagh, even though the Moy man had already retired two years ago. Although he uncannily resembled the novelist, the fact that he ate three apples and washed down the final one with Buckfast gave the game away. Peter Donnelly also chased him with the same broom the whole way to Lurgan.