Rush To Panic Buy Swimming Trunks & Bikinis In Cookstown As Barra Best Announces Winter Solstice
A shop in Cookstown has reported tremendous sales in swimming trunks, bikinis, and suntan lotion after Barra Best announced on TV this morning that the days will start getting longer from tomorrow.
With Easter eggs already flying off the shelves in the run-up to Christmas, McDonnell’s Super Shop on Main Street has gambled on further panic buying by using a cardboard cutout of weatherman Best outside the shop, pointing at red togs and bandanas.
Owner Joe McDonnell exclaimed:
“I tell ye this. I’m in a mind to push it further and sell pumpkins and witch masks for Halloween 2023, in December now. There’s nothing that makes people happier in Tyrone than getting a bargain at least six months in advance over their neighbours The pumpkins should be kept in a big freezer though as 11 months can be long if left sitting in the garage.”
McDonnell’s Super Shop’s rival, Sheehys, is already selling Shloer for Christmas 2023.
Meanwhile, a Qatari delegation is currently in Brocagh looking into buying the Emmetts GAC. More on this tomorrow.