Blog Archives

Dungannon Family Determined To Enjoy Last Rainy Days Of Summer Holidays In Bundoran

Fundoran

Fundoran

Despite record-breaking torrential downpours and fork lightning, the McClure family from the White City in Dungannon maintained they are having ‘a deadly time’ searching for crabs and playing I-Spy in the caravan before the children head back to school next week.

With the disastrous weather during Summer 2015 making it a miserable break for families, hundreds of Tyronians have descended on Downings and Bundoran in a last ditch attempt to give their children something to write about when they get back to English class in school.

Harold McClure (45) revealed he built his best castle ever on Bundoran beach  last night with a real-life 30-feet wide moat all around his 5-towered castle which took him 3 hours whilst the children watched in a huddle or kept an eye out for crabs:

“It’s just a pity there was no one else to see it bar the children. The ditch was lethal. It was 7-feet deep full of rainwater, and a real death trap so I got the children to buy and carry a new door from B&Q to act as a bridge. The rain isn’t too bad when you get used to it. Spotting crabs is great fun too. I think we pointed to over 100 crabs though some of them might have been the same ones.”

A caravan site barbecue went ahead anyway despite over 47 inches of rain falling during the feast, with three children hospitalised with acute hypothermia.

Event organiser JJ Doherty admitted the hospitalisation was ‘unfortunate’ but families should ‘feck away off to Malaga or something if they don’t want to run the risk of death whilst chewing on a hotdog during an Irish summer’s day.’

Advertisements

Local Pilot Loses Licence After Maiden Flight

Aughnacloy's first fully qualified pilot was excitied

Aughnacloy’s first fully qualified pilot was excited

An Aughnacloy pilot has lost his Commercial Pilot’s Licence after a series of inappropriate comments whilst in charge of his first major flight from Belfast to Malaga last week.

Eugene McGoldrick, who qualified last year from a flying school in Canada, mistakenly left his microphone on at inappropriate times as well as making ill-advised jokes to the passengers during in-flight announcements.

Experienced air hostess Jenny Dowell from Manchester reckoned it was the most daunting and haunting journey she will probably ever face:

“I don’t know how that man got his licence. For example, just before take off he finished up his first ever introduction to the passengers by saying ‘Good luck, you’ll need it lads‘ before laughing like a maniac. That did not create a sense of calm amongst the flight attendants, never mind the paying public.”

Additionally, half way through the journey he mistakenly turned on his microphone during a game of Connect 4 in the cockpit with the chief flight attendant and screamed as he lost “HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD, I’M BATE” during a bumpy bit of the journey, sending the passengers into a wild frenzy of panic.

“People were kissing each other goodbye and tears were flowing,” claimed Dowell, and added “even after we’d finally sedated the passengers with free Pringles he then rounded off a disastrous flight by announcing ‘prepare for impact‘ before the landing procedure commenced. People were inflating jackets, blowing whistles and shining lights all over the joint.”

McGoldrick has since applied for a job in Powerscreen.

paul g moss

Theories in Education

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

Lucid Being🎋

MAGAZINE THE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS - THE STRANGE AND PHILOSOPHICAL. ABSTRACT DIGITAL ART RENDERINGS - Ash Lucid!

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on dining in and out

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: