Blog Archives

‘E.T. – The Return’ Will Not Be Filmed In Greencastle Due To Poor Mobile Phone Coverage

s-l300A multi-million pound remake of the 1982 hit ‘E.T. The Extra Terrestrial’ will not now be filmed at the foot of the Sperrins due to poor mobile phone coverage. 

Steven Spielberg, who has always been a big fan of Greencastle GAA club and once considered making a film about their All Ireland win years ago, is said to be devastated at the decision but admitted E.T. phoning home was crucial to the plot again this time.

Script writer Marie McBurn revealed the difficulties around the poor signal couldn’t be overcome:

“It was just stupid. We tried a few scenes and you’d have E.T. shouting ‘can you hear me now?’ down the phone and moving all over the place to get a signal. It totally ruined the believably of it all.”

The news comes as a big blow to the Greencastle area. Early estimates reckoned the windfall from tourism could have topped over £100m which they had planned to spent on an enormous Christmas tree with massive balls and long lines of tinsel.

In other news, a boy walked the whole half a mile to school last week in Killyman. He became the first child to walk to school since 1998.

Hairy Tyrone Women – The World’s Most Desirable In 2013

Tyrone woman at the Washingbay sports

Tyrone woman at the Washingbay sports

The world famous Cosmopolitan magazine have announced plans to scour county Tyrone in preparation a four-page article they’re doing on the latest world craze of hairy women. Italian fashion guru Matteo Cambi, who has long championed the return of hairy women on the Mediterranean catwalks, last week announced that hairy women are now in style and are being sought after for perfume and négligée adverts as well as major film roles across the continent. The good news didn’t stop there for local women as Spielberg announced he will be seeking naturally hairy women for his next blockbuster as opposed to those women who have just recently decided to not shave as the former would be more comfortable in their own skin during key tense scenes. Sources say he will arrive in Derrylaughan this weekend.

Personal agent Terry McNeill revealed that Tyrone may now become a hotspot for the multi-millionaire playboys looking for celebrity girlfriends:

“This is class news altogether. We all know how Tyrone women were never afraid to strut their stuff au naturale. Now the naturally hairy women have been finally rewarded with much-deserved recognition. This is a big two fingers to Gillette and Wilkinson Sword Quattro and the Derry women who used them. We’re proud of our hairy women and now we’ll have some job holding on to them it seems.”

Spielberg has identified the type of girl he is after in great detail. Features such as naturally bushy eyebrows, slight upper lip shadow and a healthly hairy neck are high on his list. Visible hairy legs are a must, with those possessing hairs on the back of their hands the probable highest earners. Jackie Devlin from Tattyreagh says it is the best news she has heard in years:

“I always had a notion Colin Farrell needed a real woman, someone who’ll not be sharing his shaving gel or running down the battery on his dry shaver. Jaysus, I can’t wait til get stuck into boys like Clint Eastwood. I’ll make his day, every day.”

paul g moss

Theories in Education

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

LUCID NOW🌜

Ambient Music To The Ethereal And Eternal Idea!

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on Dining in and Out.

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: