Ronnie O’Sullivan May Retire To Coalisland

By Aughoughilley Schnifflesold-man-laughing

whatsapp-image-2017-01-22-at-13-26-48-1Ronnie ‘The Rocket’ O Sullivan has been linked with a move to the bubbling metropolis of Coalisland, after residents reported seeing him enter Mc Glone and Mc Cabe property specialists and stopping to sign a few autographs for the kids.

 

It is believed Ronnie and his wife are interested in renting a property in the Mountcairn area of the town, while waiting on planning permission to convert the former RUC station into a luxury five million pound home complete with pool and pool table (in different rooms).

We understand that after a conversation with Dennis Taylor about the love that he still holds for his home town, ‘The Rocket’ was tempted to take a look for himself. Tyrone Tribulations can confirm that Ronnie had already visited Gervin’s snooker hall, where Mr Taylor plied his trade in his formative years, and is keen to get a funny picture of himself on the wall beside the Steve Davis one. His relocation was hugely influenced by the proximity of the former barracks to a thriving snooker hall, and the lure of free ‘park and walk’ facilities literally anywhere round the town- day or night.

Ronnie was also snapped by locals, wolfing down a Philly cheese steak at Landi’s restaurant which he clearly enjoyed and was even very grateful for the free dozen or so chips he got with it, informing staff that ‘you just don’t get that in England.’

Ronnie’s family are also keen on the move, with his young son Ronnie junior very excited about schooling at St Patrick’s Academy in Dungannon especially now that its mixed and there are plenty of girls to mingle with.

Jeez, they’ll go mad for the wee hoor’s accent

admitted St Patrick’s Academy’s new principal Patsy Sweeney who was voted in with help from a recent surge in far right Dungannon polling.

Maisy Dooey, next door but one from the former police station, was happy to have a few words with us:

Ach, sure it’ll be great to see the oul barracks tuck down. I’m fed up looking at all the Republican stuff on the front of her…”

When quizzed about the prospect of new neighbours from England, she added

aye, lucksee, sure it’s one set of Brits not long out, and a new set moves in. Let’s hope these ones aren’t as noisy. I’d say they will love how close they are to the lough, y’know with young childer an all that, apart from all the flies. Throw me over them weishing pegs will you, I’ve a load just finished spin cycle there”

The Rocket O’Sullivan’s good friend Ronnie Wood of Rolling Stones’ fame is also reputedly very familiar with Coalisland, having never missed an International Music Festival held there since its inception in 1994, reportedly enjoying the Polish bands’ dancing, and drinking down the line till the wee hours.

Ronnie was last seen outside the barber shop, staring in the window for some time as if looking in a mirror, until the proprietor came out and chased him.

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on June 19, 2014, in Coalisland, Dungannon and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Philomena Mcwilliams

    Class can’t stop laughing.

    Liked by 1 person

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