Omagh lad asking what time it is, today

Following Eamon Dunphy’s four letter word slip-up yesterday live on RTE during their World Cup coverage, parents and teachers across Ulster have reported a rise in bad language today in homes and schools, highlighting the popularity of both football and Eamon Dunphy.

Dunphy, who has since made two apologies for his error, believed the cameras were off air before he offered his opinion on Neymar’s penalty kick for Brazil against Croatia. Headmaster Michael McGlone indicated that it is too late for his class of P6s from Greencastle, at the bottom of the Sperrin Mountains:

“Ah, I know mistakes can happen but Holy Jaysus this morning has been an eye-opener for me in terms of the power and influence TV has over youngster these days. At 8:45am, on his way in to the school, our head boy and chief altar helper said to me ‘Master, I’m hope there’s no fuckin homework today as it’s fuckin hot again out there’. This boy hasn’t cursed since birth.”

It’s not just in the classroom that colourful language has been on the increase, as mother of three Julie O’Neill from Brocagh on the shores of Lough Neagh explained:

“The children were up watching RTE last night as we’re big Mexico fans because we love their food, especially all that taco shit. We paid no heed to the slip-up last night and assumed the children had not heard it. Well, this morning I overhead my two youngest Peter (6) and Mary (5) fuckin and blindin away about the Corn Flakes. I thought two work men were in that kitchen, not my precious angels. Eamon Dunphy, you’re one fuckin bollocks!”

Meanwhile, it has been rumoured that Dunphy will tour Ireland to visit schools to promote ‘Say No To Bad Fuckin Language’ although the tour’s risky title is still under review.