Standard Of Football On Life Support After Tyrone Woman Knitted Three Jumpers In Clones During Ulster Final

052610-nfl-sleeping-fan-pi_20100526170356_660_320

Donegal launch another attack

The quality of Gaelic Football on display today is to be addressed at Congress this year after it emerged a 61-year old widow from Aghyaran knitted three adult jumpers in the Gerry Arthurs Stand in Clones during the Ulster Final between Donegal and Tyrone. 

Minnie Devine, who hasn’t missed a Tyrone game since 1977, admitted she only took up knitting this year because she found herself falling asleep watching games on TV and was afraid it might happen at a live game. Devine suffers from a severe sleep-walking condition and feared walking around the stadium or even worse onto the field if she nodded off in Clones.

Devine added:

“It’s true. I knitted 3 full length Aran jumpers and would have managed a fourth only the last 10 minutes made me look up a few times. Something has to be done about this. I saw a man two rows in front of me write three chapters of a novel he was working on. I even witnessed Martin McGuinness playing games on his phone during the first half, Angry Birds I think. He was blowing something up anyway and cheering.”

Mrs Devine will bring the jumpers to the GAA Congress this year and give a speech on the state of the game as well as raffling the sweaters to raise funds for the new Aghyaran Crematorium.

Meanwhile, GAA officials are considering employing a range of tactics to entertain the spectators during matches this year if games continue to disappoint, including scantily-clad country woman/men cheerleaders dancing to Nathan Carter albums, Irish Army air-battle fictional re-enactments over Croke Park and having random seats wired up to provide electric shocks in order to keep fans on their guard throughout the 70 minutes.

They have also reminded punters that any booing will be drowned out by sheep noises.

Advertisements

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on July 30, 2016, in Aghyaran, GAA and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

LUCID EARTH

Propensity To Empower

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Young Writers and Poets

If writing is your dream, you are at the right place!

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on dining in and out

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

My Journey:

Me and my daughters journey with a GATA2 deficiency, myelodysplasia, a bone marrow transplant and beyond..............

Amber, Like the Traffic Light

Twenty-something, dog obsessed, book-binging gal

Minimal Belle

Creative, mindful & compassionate living

%d bloggers like this: