Joyous Scenes As Ardboe Vaccine Reaches 21% Efficacy.

A vaccine developed by Ardboe GAA club and the Battery Bar has proven to be more than 20% effective in people of all ages, sparking immediate requests for funding and mass production.

A paper, published in The Lancet this evening, shows that the vaccine uses RNA technology which was brazenly stolen by a Moortown janitor from a lab in Oxford. It will, if applied at a temperature of -100 degrees celsius, prevent one in five adult homo sapiens from getting midge bites.

The peer reviewed paper has rated the vaccine 20.65% effective due to the fact that it’s December and that there are ‘fcuk all midges about’.

Unperturbed, Ardboe GAA officials and Battery Bar owner Mr O Mulligan, stormed Stormont today for any money they can get their hands on.

In other news, a Coalisland man has become the first person to have emerged from a self-imposed isolation period of 35 years. Johnny Fee emerged from a manhole in the town, asking people if Dennis Taylor was still doing autographs.

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on December 10, 2020, in Ardboe, Coalisland and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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