lucrative business

A freelance election poster maker from out the Tattyreagh Road, who has managed to monopolise the election poster business across all parties since 2007, has become the richest man in Ireland according to a list released on Easter Sunday by an English newspaper. 

John McMahon (56) is reportedly ‘flat out’ making new posters as we go to print, having today been given the nod by Stormont politicians for another polling session. In addition, the Dungannon Campus in the South West College has already started enrolling students for ‘Poster-Making’ Diplomas starting in September 2017.

Taking a break from making a set of new posters for the SDLP, McMahon was unwilling to talk about how much he’d actually made in the last 12 months:

“Let’s just say I can now afford to go to the pictures and buy food there without having to take out a Credit Union loan. I’ve an exclusive agreement with the DUP, TUV, UUP, SF, SDLP, Greens, Alliance and a couple of others. And they all pay well, especially if I touch up a few of them using Photoshop.”

McMahon also confessed that the business also almost cost him his marriage after he was accused of spending ‘too long touching up’ a couple of the new Sinn Fein MLAs’ posters.

McMahon denied he was involved in a turf war when a rival election poster business had to close down due to a series of defaced posters from the new company appeared in Mid-Ulster, with crude drawings of male genitalia appearing on the posters of several prominent DUP politicians.

“I can categorically state that was NOT me”

he said before walking back into his shed, laughing his head off.

McMahon’s business is reportedly raking in over £3m a year with many unused posters being sold on the black market to bonfire builders.