Moortown Man Finds Out Real Age Of Wife By Counting Her Teeth After Watching Country File

C015-04A Moortown plasterer is in negotiations with his lawyer after it emerged his wife was far older than she said she was when they got married last year at a lavish ceremony near the Windmill.

Paul Quinn, who suspected his wife Alanna was not 31 as she said, came across the idea of counting her teeth whilst she slept after watching an episode of Country File which showed how farmers could estimate the age of their sheep by tallying their teeth.

A furious Quinn added:

“She has pulled the wool over my eyes. I had a fair idea she was older than 31 as she’d let a big ‘aaargghh’ out of her when she would get out of a chair or bed. So last night, whilst she slept, I got one of those surgeon lights for my head and a scalpel and sure enough, she has the teeth of a 60-65 year old. I’ve a big decision to make now.”

Quinn’s findings have placed women across the county on red alert as more suspicious men are predicted to follow the Moortown man’s lead and do some investigative work during the hours of darkness. An Ardboe child-minder told us:

“This is bad craic for us. I’m thinking of deploying mouse traps down the middle of the bed. My ma talked about super-glueing her mouth but that’s a bit mad I think.”

Meanwhile Quinn maintains he is aiming to employ a trough as a feeding destination for his 9 children after also seeing is successfully used on Country File last Sunday but rubbished rumours he is to use home-made human fertilizer for the garden.

 

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About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on February 10, 2015, in Ardboe, Moortown, Windmill and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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