Making America deadly

Despite Hilary Clinton pulling out all the stops in Philadelphia last night by having Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi and the Obamas appear on stage in support of her campaign, Donald Trump once again managed to get the upper hand by secretly flying in Hugo Duncan from Strabane to Ohio to sing at his final speech before a gobsmacked 20’000-strong audience.

Duncan (66), whose song ‘Dear God‘ stayed at number one in the Irish charts for 22 weeks in the 70s, wowed the crowd with popular numbers such as ‘Come Down The Mountain Katie Daly‘ and ‘Cottage on the Old Dungannon Road‘. Several US political analysts maintain Duncan’s performance might see Trump over the line in first place. Hank Marvin pointed out:

This was Donald’s trump card, if you pardon the pun. People don’t realise how big Hugo is over here. He’s your Michael Jackson to us. To hear ‘Little Shirt Me Mother Made For Me’ filter across the Ohio air was a memory most of us will take to the grave. Fair play to Trump – he saved his best til last.

A spokesman for Duncan reminded people that this performance in no way endorses Trump but is a reminder that Uncle Hugo is available at the drop of a hat as long as there’s the promise of some buns and cake. Trump’s PR team promised Duncan that American cake slices and sizes of desserts were twice that in Europe, prompting Hugo to jump on a private plane immediately at Carrickfinn Airport with the instructions to put ‘shoe to the burd’ until they reached Ohio.

Duncan’s last appearance in America was at the final election campaign for George W Bush when his rendition of ‘I’ll Take You Home Again Kathleen‘ apparently won the election for the 43rd President of the United States.