Omagh Man Destroys Danish Pastry Display After Ireland Defeat
An Omagh lawyer has admitted he allowed his passion and temper to get the better of him after obliterating the Danish Pastry display in the Spar in the town this morning at 7am.
Paul McMahon (56), an avid Republic of Ireland supporter, has been charged with the destruction of 56 cinnamon rolls, 30 raisin swirls and 3 small pecan slices. The Fintona Road man revealed:
“I was still sore enough when I woke up over the humiliation by Denmark the night before. The last thing I needed was a Spar woman trying to promote Danish Pastry in my face at seven in the morning. I completely lost it and fly-kicked the tray out of her hand and set about wrecking the whole section. I don’t regret it. Feck them.”
Local shopper Damien Hurson, who happened to be perusing the cabbages at the same time, countered this version of events and went as far as denying it ever happened:
“Yous Tyrone Tribulations ones do this every year when Ireland get bate. Yous made up a story about a man ruining the kiwis in a fruit shop when New Zeland beat them in the rugby and a man wrecking the french bread stall when Henry handled the ball. Get new material, OK?”
Local historians have warned people to refrain from targeting Danish Pastry displays as it was the Austrians who invented them.