Mid Ulster DUP Election Poster Accused Of Giving People Dirty Looks
Scientists have been forensically analysing a series of DUP posters in Cookstown which have been accused of giving dirty looks to people they believe won’t be giving their vote to the Democratic Unionist Party.
In a further development tonight, several witnesses have claimed that the posters have also been uttering derogatory comments under their breath, but audible enough to cause offence.
And in another late development, Sinn Fein have been accused of erecting counter posters in recent days that argue back at the DUP posters, causing locals to lose sleep with several posters at each other all night.
Science boffin Henry Davies, who discovered pot holes back in 1969, expects the DUP are using new technology, secretly shipped in underneath gun smuggling crates.
“Yea I think the DUP are using new technology, secretly shipped in underneath gun smuggling crates.”
In other news, those attending the count centre in Omagh this year have been told to bring their own sandwiches and tea as the shop has been closed down due to an infestation of salmon which bred rapidly in Healy Park during a period of wet weather in March.