Furniture Stores On High Alert After Sinn Fein Take Seats All Over The County

Over a dozen furniture stores in the county are barricading their premises at night after news reports indicated that Sinn Fein councillors have been lifting seats from all over the county in the past week.

A well known furniture store in The Moy have employed extra security staff to keep an eye out for the seat-stealers, who have also carried out daring raids in Lisburn and Ballymena.

Furniture entrpreprenuer Paddy Campbell from Cappagh warned:

“These Sinn Fein ones are ruthless. They stole 21 seats up in Omagh there. That’s like three tables at a wedding. I haven’t time to be making more seats only for the Shinners to nab them under the cover of darkness. I have three rottweilers though and I’ve trained them to attack anyone eyeing up seats around Cappagh.”

Sinn Fein lifted 144 seats in the last week, sparking speculation that they might be planning on a big sit-down celebration soon or an AGM or something.

Meanwhile, the SDLP have accused Sinn Fein of stealing their 20 missing seats whilst they were at their spring conference in Magherafelt in March. Senior figures in the SDLP were spotted looking for the seats yesterday but have given up hope of finding them.

They have challenged Sinn Fein to a game of Musical Chairs in Derry next week.

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on May 23, 2023, in Cappagh, Moy and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Unionists are of course enraged at the theft of “their” seats. No longer top dogs, as friends of the rottweilers, they are grandstanding on binlids


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