Man Who Was Fined For Being On Phone Whilst Riding Donkey Maintains He Was Passenger. Donkey MOTs Delayed.
A Benburb farmer has appealed his £30 fine for riding a donkey while phoning his girlfriend on a backroad near the Moy after he claimed that he was not in charge of the beast but simply a passenger.
George Wallace (33) admitted he was on his phone to his girlfriend whilst sitting on the donkey’s back on his way to an illegal greyhound meeting when he was caught by three PSNI officers who were also on their way to the meeting.
However, Wallace argued that he did not set out on the journey with the donkey and only just embarked it halfway up the road, as you would a taxi.
There’s no way I was in control of that donkey. I just pointed it in the way of the Moy and sat back and relaxed. And I phoned the woman to remind her to turn the immersion off. I’ve never heard of a taxi passenger getting done for being on a phone.”
Meanwhile, donkey MOTs are to begin in March 2020 after the lifts which raises donkeys up were found to be suitable for left-handed donkeys only.
Three donkeys were turned away from the Cookstown MOT depot yesterday on a trial run for dunging in the centre.
A Greencastle fitter, Malachy Teague, feared he’d lost days after taking too many flu tablets that the local doctor had prescribed for him. Although it explicitly said to only take two every four hours, an under-the-weather Teague mixed the numbers up and swallowed four every two hours.
“I went to lie down around 2pm for a quick sleep only to wake up and it dark. I was confused so I grabbed the tablet pack and saw they were done. On reading the label, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake and surmised that I must’ve been out cold for a few days at least. I’d seen that word surmised on Countdown a while ago and thought it was a great word.”
With all clocks and watches stopped in the house, Teague headed down to Eddie’s to find out what day it was, only to experience how difficult finding out that information actually was.
“I asked Sean behind the bar if he had a paper so I could check how my greyhound tip got on. I had no tip but just wanted to see the date on the paper. Sean asked what greyhound it was. I had to think on my feet and just made up a name – “Kissy Slippy”. Sean said it came nowhere and walked off. I went to the back bar and this time just asked for a look at today’s paper. Geordie said his wife had it upstairs and sure there was nothing in it anyway. Exasperated, I saw oul Johnny Devlin reading the Irish News at the back wall with a magnifying glass. At this stage I’d decided that if he refused to give me the paper I’d kill him, 93 or not. I just grabbed the thing off him, saw it was still today’s date and handed it back politely.”
It turned out that Malachy had just been sleeping for five hours due to the heavy flu.
“Gee I was quare and relieved to get that sorted. You just cannot go up to someone and ask them to give you the day of the week.”
In other local news, Greencastle GAC have started a petition to get the Sperrin Mountains moved.