We were out and about this morning gauging early reactions to last night’s tragedy in Sweden:

“Who ever heard of Denmark, like? They can stick their tin whistle up their hole.” B McElduff, Carrickmore

“Them leather trousers lost it. The lad could hardly move. His lad could hardly move. He should’ve thrown some shapes.” M Gildernew, Aghaloo

“See next year. I’m going to enter and during the last bar I’ll turn around, drop my trousers and have ‘Up Yours Europe’ tattooed on my buttocks. That’ll learn them.” F McGuigan, Ardboe

“Trappatoni OUT!” P Canavan, Ballygawley

“I’ve more buckin points on my licence.” G Cavlan, Dungannon

“That girl didn’t even have any shoes and still won. Embarrassing. We need to send a tramp out next year.” P Donaghy, Moy

“Them boys with the bodhrans should’ve worn shirts. And not played bodhrans.” P Begley, Pomeroy

“One point from the UK? No more Mr Kipling for me.” M Cush, Donaghmore

“We’d still drink them under the table. But they won’t have a Eurovision for that, will they?” J Devlin, Gortin

“The lorry-top parade has been cancelled because of ….poor visibility. Yes, the weather is cat.” Strabane Council

“His teeth were too white. People didn’t believe he was Irish. And the tan? Come on, like.” M O’Neill, Clonoe

“We need to send out Bono, all greased up like, playing the accordion and maybe the girls from Betwitched leaping about him singing about the Sean Quinn thing.”  R McMenamin, Dromore