Mysterious ‘Monolith’ In Coalisland Was Just A Parking Ticket Machine
Most Coalisland residents have breathed a sigh of relief after a giant steel device which appeared in the town three nights ago has been revealed as a car parking ticket machine and not an object dropped by aliens.
Over 400 residents had already packed up and were preparing to leave the town to go to Brackaville or Newmills for fear of being abducted and probed by aliens after the mysterious monolith puzzled local experts since Sunday night.
A candlelit vigil in honour of possible aliens was held last night outside the egg factory but was interrupted during the third decade of the rosary after someone stuck a pound in the machine and got a three-hour ticket pass.
Local sky expert Terry McNeill from Drummurrer, who owns three pairs of binoculars and visited Houston in 1988, added:
“Some are relieved but I can’t deny that I’m disappointed. I really did think this was it and was totally prepared for a probing session. I’d already told the wife that it’s likely they’ll need a boiler fitted and probably would be three light years away before she’d know I was gone.”
Since the truth was uncovered, the ticketing machine was hatcheted for three hours before being set alight.