Blog Archives

Greencastle Report Flying Cows Again During Windy Spell. Hoax Says Dungannon Tech Students.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAResidents of Greencastle have been asked to return to their houses after the reported flying cow news story turned out to be a hoax. Government officials confirmed there’ll be no claim forms for this. 

Photoshop experts from Dungannon Tech confirmed that the image captured and shared by Frank Mitchell on UTV Weather Watchers was a really poor computer job by a B-Tech IT student and not a real depiction of cattle hurtling towards the Sperrins.

Dermot O’Devlin, an esteemed local historian, remains sceptical:

“Well, I think I know that cow from my Christmas party shenanigans. The lights on it are a give away. Anyway, I’m not heading back to my house until I know there are no livestock casually hurtling about in my locality and them weighing a few hundred tonnes. If there’s a claim, I’m in though.”

Local Photoshop guru, Jack McKinless, labelled the picture ‘one of the worst Photoshop jobs’ he’s ever seen.

The Greencastle flying cow story follows on from the Kildress Old People’s Home incident which lamented the loss of 44 elderly residents who blew away ‘northwards’ during the high winds. Worker Patricia Hurson maintains she saw them fly off ‘towards Derry’ whilst out for their morning walk.

Shortly afterwards, workers applied for a grant which caters for Act of God bereavement stress amongst their staff.

 

97% Of Trainee Painters Failed ‘Cutting In’ Module At Dungannon Tech

Looking for advice on cutting in.

Looking for advice on cutting in.

Standards of painting and decorating in Tyrone are said to be at an all-time low after the Dept of Education’s recent publication of vocational exam results. 

Despite a rise in applicants for the course, Professor Jemmy Hanna maintains the level of competency is shockingly poor:

“Yes, it’s cat altogether. Cutting in was always a hard skill but young lads now don’t even get close to passing it. I was monitoring a lad from Brackaville last week who was painting a 14 x 14 ceiling and his cutting in was that bad it was impossible to know where the wall ended and the ceiling started. He then produced a packet of baby wipes to rectify the error and made a hames of it. Salvador Dali I called him.”

Prof Hanna also lamented the lazy attitude to the tools of work from today’s apprentices:

“On numerous occasions I’ve witnessed trainee painters forgetting to do basic duties in terms of looking after their brushes and rollers after a day’s work. This morning a boy from Killeeshil resumed his duties from last night with a rock hard brush. He more or less painted a wall with a stick.”

Meanwhile, the plumbing course at the college has again seen record numbers applying for a place after it was revealed that plumbers are now more desirable than firemen amongst Tyrone women, according to a poll in today’s Sunday Independent.

Mary Jordan, a 33-year old from the Moy, agreed:

“A man with a spanner in his hand covered in boiler dust just sends me mad.”

 

paul g moss

Theories in Education

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

Lucid Being💫

The Art Or Endeavour Of Being Lucid In A World We Live In... Secrets Of The Psychics... Energy, Universe, Futurism, Film, Empowerment...Digital Abstract Art Rendering...

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on Dining in and Out.

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: