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International Reaction To Black Card Ruling In GAA

Hand Black Card

A black card will be used in gaelic football from January next year. Motion 4 proposed that a new ‘black card’ be introduced to deal with a specific category of foul, relating to ‘cynical behaviour’ and was passed with a 82% majority at the GAA Annual Congress in Derry today. We gauged reaction to the historic decision across the globe:

“Hell yea! Delighted to hear the dudes in Derry passed this. A victory for democracy. We need to show the dissenters the error of their ways. Had this not been passed we would have considered air strikes on the new Garvaghey complex.  Here, I bet you Ricey’s glad he retired when he did.” PRESIDENT OBAMA, USA

“Bastards, hi!” NADINE COYLE, DERRY

“Mmmm. Do you know who’s been given the gig for making the black cards? Interesting.” SEAN QUINN, FERMANAGH

“O mama. This is just the beginning. Get me in and I’ll have a baseball-type musical jingle as the ref digs around looking for the correct card. Will it be red? The music builds. Will it be yellow. Faster, faster. It’s black. Pantomime booing. Great TV. I like the idea of the hooter at the end. I’ll get women in hooter T-shirts to do it. Kerching! Nailed it!” LOUIS WALSH, MANCHESTER

“I’m undecided. Up the Carmen.” POPE FRANCIS, ROME

“What colour will the black cards be? I hope it’s pink. I love pink.” JORDAN, ESSEX

“Abusive language? Does that include ‘nordie bastards’? BONO, DUBLIN

“You can’t say black!” JOHN TERRY, LONDON

“I hope Conor Gormley brings a cushion to the games. He’ll be spending some time sitting on benches. Cute though.” KATY PERRY, CALIFORNIA

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