PSNI To Blow £14m Underspend On Easter Blow-Out Including Wolfe Tones Concert

PSNI practice for fancy dress disco

PSNI practice for fancy dress disco

Following news that the PSNI underspent their annual budget to the value of £14 million, insiders confirmed that a massive Easter party and parade has been commissioned by police headquarters in Dungannon with the The Wolfe Tones reportedly headlining a concert which will round off a five-day session.

Faced with either handing back the money to the government or receiving a reduced budget next year, officials in the police force have voted to blow the money on beer, chocolate and concerts in the run-up to Easter, as well as male and female dancers.

A document leaked to our office catalogues what is planned for the 5-day extravaganza which will be attended by over 4500 police officers on off-duty at various times from April 1st-April 5th.

Purchases already made includes:

  • 1390 Yorkie and Smartie easter eggs (large)
  • 2950 crates of Coors Lite
  • 1460 crates of Bitter
  • Easter Sunday concert featuring The Wolfe Tones, Moygashel Flute Band and The Portuguese Ukulele Orchestra
  • 6 bouncy castles
  • A £300’000 firework display of red, white, blue, green and orange colours.
  • 1400 new batons
  • 2400 new face shields
  • 13 water canons from Mexico
  • 54 new hair dryers for speed detection

£1 million has also been set aside for a 4000-strong fancy dress party to be held up on Dungannon Hill for police forces across the world with a strict 1980s dress code enforced and music provided by the Village People Tribute Band from Killyman.

A high-ranking PSNI official added:

“Them folks on the hill will see none of that £14 million – a bit like the Northern Bank money I suppose. There’ll be some sore heads on Monday morning. Any remaining money will be spent on upping the Ardoyne overtime for the lads.”

The SDLP, DUP, Sinn Fein and UUP will all sent representatives to the various functions that week to make sure the money is spent wisely.

 

About Gombeen

Trying hard to make it up.

Posted on March 26, 2015, in Dungannon, Killyman and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

paul g moss

Theories in Education

Ground*ed Hito

Be the light of your own kind.

Scribbles from me to you

My poetry & prose

Life with Saoirse

The ups, downs, laughter and tears of life in a complex family

Kilbarchan Pipe Band Blog

Registered Charity SC045878

The Media Student's Book Blog

Film and media education

LUCID NOW🌜

Ambient Music To The Ethereal And Eternal Idea!

In Dianes Kitchen

Recipes showing step by step directions with pictures and gadget reviews

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii - BestVideoGames.site

Video Games Guide - PS Vita, PS3, Xbox , Wii

Naturesl0vers

All about nature

Dining with Donald

Donald on Dining in and Out.

Fourteen Lines

A Sonnet Obsession

The Irish Peace Process

Catholic Afterthoughts

Ryan Harper Writing

Short Stories, Poems and Songs and random observations

%d bloggers like this: