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Sir Joe Brolly May Have Secretly Accepted A Knighthood In 1993
Artist’s impression of occasion
Documents found in the attic of a house in Brackaville have suggested that Joe Brolly has been a Sir since 1993, according to a Brackaville club committee man who bought the new abode at an auction in Cookstown.
The piece of paper, written to Brolly by Anthony Tohill in early 1994, is now on show behind a glass case in the clubrooms despite Conor Grimes asking for it to be put into a filing cabinet.
Basil Gillis remarked:
“It’s quite obvious that Tohill was in on this. He started the letter ‘Dear Joe Brolly sir, ……’ and uses ‘sir’ loads of times in many sentences. It’s clear that Tohill didn’t know where to put the ‘sir’ with him being from Swatragh and all but it’s there in black and white.”
Although Gillis is unwilling to publish his findings yet, he is convinced that most of the Derry 1993 All-Ireland winning team were knighted after he stumbled upon a 20-year reunion video and most of them were calling each other ‘sir’ all night although it sounded more like ‘sur’.
“I’m just not surprised at all. I’ve seen a few of them Derry lads walking straight into restaurants or chippies and getting served straight away which we all know is a perk of being knighted by the Queen of England.”
Tyrone Tribulations can confirm that they overheard a sideline meeting between Damien Cassidy and Damien Barton at a Tyrone club match last year and they both addressed each other with the moniker ‘sir’, albeit at the end of the sentences.
CE Of Mid Ulster Council, Anthony Tohill, To Obliterate Tyrone. ‘Worse Than Cromwell’.
Tohill ‘has plans’ for Tyrone
The Chief Executive of the Mid Ulster Council has been accused of allegedly demoting the status of Tyrone’s largest towns to just ‘hamlets’ or ‘villages’ as well as harbouring long term plans to relocate half of Tyrone into Derry over the next ten years.
Anthony Tohill, who played a major role in the simmering rivalry between Tyrone and Derry during the mid 90s, has yet to be caught red-handed but veteran council member Declan Rafferty maintains you couldn’t trust him despite having no concrete evidence.
“I’ve had my suspicions about that Swatragh man since he landed the job. No Derry man should be in such a powerful position over Tyrone affairs. There was that time he teased us about Ballygawley being a town. Sure nothing came of that. Now there’s talk he’s downgrading Omagh, Dungannon, Cookstown and Coalisland to just small villages. He’ll be officially labelling them shit-holes next.”
Another committee member who wishes to remain nameless reveals he overheard Tohill deliberating whether or not to swallow up Greencastle, Kildress, Cranagh, Cookstown and Glenelly into County Derry.
“Not only that but I believe he’s to award Draperstown city status with all the benefits that entails. This man is a tyrant and will stop at nothing until he has dismantled Tyrone. Apparently he’s to re-classify Pomeroy as a shanty town. He’s worse than Cromwell.”
Committee members predict a stormy meeting when the council meet up at the end of the month to discuss Tohill’s motion to permanently close the M1 before the Tamnamore roundabout on the Belfast side and replace it with a mud road for horses and carts.
Meanwhile, Tohill’s PR team maintain there is no truth in the rumours and wanted to remind people that he even has some Tyrone friends.
Tyrone Tribulations 